zane's birth story

Zane @ 2 Weeks Old. ©Glessner Photography.

On January 19th, we welcomed our second child, another precious boy we named Zane Matthew, to our family. Now, with all that’s going on in the world, two months seems like a lifetime ago.

Zane’s birth story is nothing like our first son’s. Throughout my last trimester because of how swift Miles came, my provider reiterated at each appointment that as soon as I thought I even might be in labor, to go to the hospital. My mom had arrived in town a week before baby’s due date to ensure we had someone to watch after Miles, and I was 100% over being pregnant. Some people love it, but let me tell you - I am not one of those people. As soon as she was in town, I began spending lots of time on a yoga ball, walking non-stop around our neighborhood, climbing stairs… you name it.

November 2019 @ 7 Months Pregnant. ©Taylor Elise Photography.

I had a doctor’s appointment on January 17th, at which point I was 4 cm, but not in labor. They scheduled one last appointment a week out and an induction for the following weekend, and I told them I hoped I wouldn’t see them at either.

In the late afternoon hours of January 19th, I began having more contractions than normal - they still felt like Braxton Hicks, but more frequent. I thought maybe it was because I had been busy and active all day, so once we put Miles to bed, I decided to take a bath to see if they eased up. They did, so I figured it was not labor and came back downstairs to hang out for the evening. Around midnight after a brief nap on the couch, I headed upstairs to brush my teeth and head to bed, at which point, the contractions picked up again and were beginning to feel a bit more intense. I told Josh that we should go to the hospital to get checked out, and we were on our way within a half hour.

Once I arrived at the hospital, they got me into triage and told me that my contractions were pretty consistent, and I was already 6 cm, so I definitely wouldn’t be heading home. They got me to a room, where I labored through several hours of pretty intense contractions around two minutes apart and was able to catnap on and off for a bit. Since Miles’s labor had been so quick, I had again decided against any pain medication. When they decided to check me again at 6 a.m., I was sure I must be close to delivering, but I had barely progressed at all. I felt utterly defeated and scared and just plain mad. As a first intervention, they asked if they could break my water to see if that would help baby along. Not wanting to continue on in pain with no progress, I hesitantly said yes. The doctor on call broke my water around 7 a.m. and things sped up significantly. There were many moments of thinking I couldn’t do it and regretting not getting an epidural, but…

…at 8:51 a.m., after about a half hour of pushing, I delivered - on his due date - our (surprise!) baby boy - a whopping 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 20 3/4 inches.

Zane Matthew Glessner

Like many second time parents, before I got pregnant and throughout my whole pregnancy, I couldn’t imagine possibly loving another kid as much as the first. Boy, was I wrong. Once again, it was love at first sight, and we are absolutely smitten with our two boys. Our family is definitely complete - no, we won’t be trying for a girl. Don’t even ask. As much as the newborn phase tricks me into thinking I could have a whole houseful, I remember all too well pregnancy, labor, and the “no” phase of toddlerhood, and I quickly return to reality.

Two has been sweeter than I ever could have imagined. There’s a confidence and ease that comes with the second child. We’re less anxious and we savor more moments because we know how quickly the time passes. We don’t stress the little things because we know everything is just a phase that will be behind us in a flash. We haven’t dealt with many jealousy issues - probably largely due to the four year age difference between the two - and Miles is just absolutely smitten with his baby brother.

February 2020. ©Taylor Elise Photography.

Despite the chaos around us right now, I’m over here trying to soak in all the baby cuddles while I still can and loving watching the bond between these two grow.

More updates soon! Stay well!

one year

One whole year. That's how long it's been since we found out you'd be joining us. But you had started growing weeks before - seven weeks to be exact. I took the test while your dad was at work, just knowing it would be another negative I could toss in the trash. I couldn't be pregnant. Not now. Not after we'd put our plans to start a family on hold while we prepared to move abroad. Not after nearly a year of trying - complete with charts and vitamins and diligently working to be in the best physical shape possible. Not after all those months that ended in disappointment. We'd put our house on the market and found an apartment in Germany. We were ready to leave the U.S. - no strings attached - for two years.

We'd just returned from Europe a few days before. I couldn't fathom the thought (or smell) of the Neuhaus chocolates we'd brought back from Belgium. I was exhausted and nauseous and an emotional basket case. Your dad joked that I was probably pregnant, but I was convinced it was just jet lag. But there I stood, on the cold tile floor in our bathroom on a Monday afternoon, staring down at a stick that revealed a dark blue vertical line. There was no doubt. My heart raced, and I looked in the mirror at someone I didn't recognize - in an instant, I had become a mother. No one can prepare you for that feeling. I went downstairs and sat on the couch for over an hour, but I couldn't even come up with some creative way to share the news. Your dad came in the door, and I just blurted it out. We were shocked, nervous, and so very excited.

One year ago, while you were growing inside of me (and wreaking havoc on my appetite), I could never have imagined what it would be like to have you here. You were worth it all: The waiting and wanting. The weeks of surviving mostly on ginger ale and clementines. The discomforts of pregnancy and the pain and chaos of bringing you into this world. The (still ongoing) sleepless nights and long days fueled by coffee. Every bit of it. Times a million.

One whole year. That's how long it's been since I discovered you existed, but I feel like I've loved you forever. It's hard to remember what life was like before your gummy smile and big blue eyes. You are one great big bundle of sunshine.

Sweet boy - you are more than I ever knew I wanted, and I am eternally grateful and beyond humbled to be your mama. 

xoxoxoxo...